So here it is, Sunday night. In less than twelve hours I'll be back at my desk, gritting my teeth and counting the minutes. It's funny how much I love Sunday mornings, but the afternoons become a hopeless attempt at making the weekend last just a little bit longer, and the evenings just make me want to cry. It gets so mechanical after a while, get up, go to work, come home, sleep, get up... It's not living, it's subsisting.

At least in the meantime I had a good afternoon with April. She has a power for understanding people and seeing the processes that lay behind every action. Something that's made itself apparent recently has been the extent to which every human being has insecurities. I think that it's bonded me more to April and Kelly to hear how these beautiful, amazing women have the same issues I do with confidence, self-worth, and handling the future. I wonder what it is that makes us this way. Why am I so convinced of my own mediocrity? Am I maybe just afraid to give it up because it's become like an old friend? Maybe I'll never know.

In the meantime, I think that I will sleep and contemplate what I have come to believe is the primary obstacle preventing friendship with an ex (well, aside from all of the issues that caused the break up to begin with): dealing with the fact that, regardless of whether or not you want them, they no longer want you.