So this weekend was the interview weekend at Texas. I've been forced to face some realities. First of all, regardless of preferences, the smart money is on the Bush school because of the opportunity to not be buried by debt when all is said and done. I'm still not sure how I feel about the environment, and the curriculum seems terribly inflexible, but it doesn't seem bad, and cost is such a huge factor. I just don't know if I'd be happy there.

To a certain extent I just wonder if I'm not afraid of moving on with life, and would simply find something wrong with any place I could go. I'm not happy where I am, and wonder at my capacity to change that. It's funny, but on a certain level I feel like I'm destined to failure, so whatever I do or achieve automatically loses value in my own eyes. I've spent so much energy working toward a better life, but I have this lurking suspicion that I'll still end up making very little money in an unsatisfying job. This same uncertainty works its way into my personal life. I know that I'm young and have no desire to be tied down at the moment, but I can't really picture myself in a happy, stable relationship. I know that I will eventually meet the right person and settle down, but the doubts are there.

It's time to sleep off this cough. I think I'll be more optimistic when I'm well.=)