Many of you are aware that the past year, and especially the last six months of my life have leaned toward the frustrating and been fully affected by the slow grinding down of joy and optimism. News came today which merely solidifies the shitfest that has been my recent experience with adulthood. I'm still attempting to keep a sunny disposition because I know there's no available exit, but goddamn, there has got to be something more to it than just plugging along trying to keep your head above water.

I'm aware that while much of this is just life the rest will pass. What worries me is that I might lose a group on myself and the person I like to be, getting stuck as some one who doesn't know how to take care of herself or utilize free time. I don't want to lose my ability to enjoy life, but seems almost irrevocably where I'm headed.