Oddly, this weekend was both great and awful. On the surface it was fun, but I've been left with a bad taste in my mouth. Once again, I seem to have created a life and a network of friends here, but it's all still just so superficial. The people I find the easiest to be around and just relax with are the ones who have the hardest time squeezing me in. Then there are the people I find myself becoming unexpectedly close to and the ones with whom I felt I was creating a bond, that end up just making me angry. I feel like I'm always chasing and never catching up. More than anything I'm still just an outsider sitting on the edge of the cool kids' table at lunch.

There are plenty of reasons for this current state of depression and isolation. It seems to be the rule rather than the exception even though I'd class myself as an overall content and happy person. I think that it's just all of the negativity that comes out in this venue, because there's no other place to put it, whereas happiness can be easily shared. For now, of all the reasons creating this emotional stupor, I'm going to chalk most of it up to the sunburn, fatigue, muscle pain, work, and PMS. Everything else I just really need to let go. None of it really matters anyway.