Dave DeVore, you've done a lot to make me hate you over the years, but I've put up with it and remained your friend. However, today I'm going to put you on warning. I do not have the patience to watch you go through the developmental steps ordinarily undertaken by a college freshman. I'm going to call you later and give you some advice from my own experience. You'll be familiar with that set of experiences, and will agree that you see my point. However, you will then proceed to ignore me, and learn the hard way. There have been situations where I've been right about you and sad to see it. In this case, I will be right and happy about it. I'll be happy to see you pick up a valuable lesson and progress on the path to being a functioning adult, which is something you've largely avoided.

Fuck you and your sheltered, uptight, naive, deocentric life. Man the hell up bitch.