Is it really mean of me to tell a friend that his getting engaged is an atrociously bad idea and that I had nothing positive to say on the matter? I felt like a complete bitch, but this is also a person who expects total honesty from me. He says that all of his friends and family have had a roughly similar reaction, and it really didn't phase him. I want him to be happy, but how does one respond to this situation? A sheltered and emotionally immature 25 year old with no relationship experience is rushing into marriage with a 34 year old woman he's been dating for about six months, and who's previously shown signs of mental and emotional instability. Is it really such a bad thing that I told him the scenario had "early divorce" written all over it?

Something that this conversation did bring up is the concept of consequences. The same way that those who choose to be sexually active deal with the possibility of pregnancy, STD's, and emotional trauma, those who choose to abstain deal with temptation and frustration. Is my uber-Christian friend in a hurry to get married based solely on the fact that he has high moral standards combined with very human needs? And if he's really just getting married to get laid, how does that really differ from waiting until you're ready? Rushing into marriage has far greater stakes than rushing into sex.