It is now time for a full-blown love fest to be directed at my friends. I’ve had examples of why I love them presented to me repeatedly over the last month or so as they exhibit behaviors that I would do without thinking twice, but would not necessarily expect from others. This ranges from not making assumptions regarding my generosity to going well out of their way to help me. While this pattern applies conspicuously to those of my friends centered in the DC area, I started thinking about it with regards to my impending visit home. I wouldn’t have found it abnormal to fly home and tag along on a couple of errands, plenty of time with Aunt Mary, but also a large amount of hassle where socializing is concerned. Instead, I’ve had two friends put themselves largely at my disposal, and family members are throwing a party. What for me was intended as a low-key visit home seems to have become an actual celebration. I shouldn’t be this shocked that people are happy to see me, but it is a nice warm-fuzzy.

This references a point that I made a long time ago. Essentially, I don’t expect a whole lot from people. My influences growing up led me to assume that the natural order of things is that I should be considered rude for not going out of my way, but should never anticipate that some one else should reciprocate. I’ve had a relatively negative example of humanity presented to me from an early age. While this clearly contributed to my being critical and cynical, it’s also given me a much greater appreciation for those who are good people as a matter of course, without even having to think about it. For this reason I was consistently astounded by the generous and selfless actions of my aunts and uncles, and continue to be so by my good friends. As a matter of fact, I can identify that those with whom I remain close are the people most similar to the standards I have for myself but never quite feel that I quite live up to. The remarkable thing is that since I don’t expect this sort of behavior from others, it doesn’t factor into my opinion of them until well into a friendship. It’s only at that point that I can separate the core from the periphery. The people who reciprocate and appreciate simply because that’s their nature stick around. Everyone else…doesn’t.

A thought that just popped into my head is that this force seems to also affect my attitudes towards people. There’s one friend in particular who I almost never talk to and see only rarely, but I do consider him a rather good friend. I think that in a large part this is based on a feeling that he fits perfectly into the giving, generous, caring spirit that I’ve noticed among those I tend to keep close. The feeling seems to have less to do with any actual closeness and more with the fact that he is just good at being a friend. Maybe those are the sorts of qualities that I value regardless of the relationship I have with a person, sincerity and caring…

On this eve of the anniversary of my birth, I’d just like to say thank you to all of you who make my life more worth living. I’m one lucky, lucky girl.