I tend to forget that anyone actually reads this. So when I got concerned comments from friends after the last post, it was a little hard to explain exactly what's wrong. I guess the best way to put it is that I'm caught somewhere between knowing how genuinely lucky I am and how much worse things could be, and just wondering at the seemingly endless soul crushing grind of an incomplete life. The biggest problem in this conflict is that I end up feeling like my frustration and weariness are not justified. Because I accepted long ago that I'm responsible for my own happiness, I don't get the comfort of blaming anyone else when things go to shit. That's generally due to my own lack of discipline and forethought. It's hard not to feel entitled to your own feelings.

I know these are the things that we all go through. There will always be times when life seems entirely pointless. It's just that at the moment I'm feeling like I could break right in half.