I have the distinct urge to blog about this weekend, but know that I need to refrain. I'll have to keep it to myself, because I know my friends are sick of hearing me talk about the topic currently on my mind. I should really keep some sort of private journal, but I've never been very good at that.

How does the confidant, strong, independent, assertive woman in me coexist with the insecure, neurotic, scared little girl so certain of her own mediocrity and eventual failure?

In other news, there was a comment this weekend regarding the fact that Bush winning doesn't really make much of a difference because politics comes down to Sunday morning talk shows. I knew that if I started in on my real opinion of why it matters, I would have just stuck my foot in my mouth. So why does it matter to me that he won? Aside from the obvious concerns that we've got an oaf and a denizen of evil running our country, and our international respect and bargaining power is going to continue to decline as we tear apart the world order and negate a fair amount of progress made over the past several decades, there comes the question of what the Bush win says about the population of this country. This has nothing to do with politics, it is simply a much talked about and depressing division within American society.

I keep hearing about how evangelical Christians made the difference in the election. The problem with this? People are voting on religious and moral grounds and attempting to have their faith legislated into our government. That seems to be the fundamental difference in the debate, and it was the one thing that made me vote for Kerry rather than against Bush. I don't want my government to pass judgments on gay marriage or to codify a certain set of morals at all. I guess that just gets us in to the slippery slope argument. Either way, once you decide to say that one thing is good and one is bad, you have to draw a line and that gets problematic. In this case it becomes a huge attack on personal liberty. I think Catherine put it best when she said she just felt very much alone. I feel alienated from my country. There's a gulf that's wide and unbearable. I wonder how this division will play out in the coming years, and with the next several elections. What kind of world am I finding myself in?