I've just come to a startling conclusion. I am a boring and superficial human being with nothing to offer. I have no passions in life, and what opinions I do hold, I'm unable to back up. I'm not a good date, or a very good friend. I put too much value on what other people think about me, and don't concentrate on what I can do to improve myself so much as what I can do to make others like me better. There is nothing that interests me enough to pursue as a means of changing these facts. Not only do I not know what I want to do with my life, and am I finding my education to be a waste of money and air, but I don't know that I necessarily want to do anything with my life. The only thing that separates me from the people to whom I've spent my life feeling superior is natural intelligence. I am lazy and unmotivated...

That's right ladies and gentleman, I am officially A WASTE OF SPACE.

Wow, so now that I've come to this realization, what do I do about it...?

(sound of crickets in the background)